Love, mercy and kindness are values that underpin Islam. Domestic violence and domestic abuse go completely against these values and therefore against Islam itself.

It is incumbent on a Muslim to embrace these values of universal humanity through their relationships with others, and most particularly with their partners. It’s why domestic abuse has no place in the Muslim community and must be rooted out.

In Islam, one cannot perfect their worship of Allah (swt) until they have perfected their relationship with others. The kind treatment of others, including one’s partner, is in itself an act of worship and a sign of piety to God.

 “And as of His signs, He created mates for you from your souls that you may find rest in them. And He put between you love and mercy (compassion). Most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.
(Qur’an 30:21)

Islam teaches individuals to constantly consider which deeds and behaviours are pleasing to Allah (swt) and to interact with others in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women.”  
(Hadith, Tirmidhi)

Our Prophet (ﷺ) hated any form of violence towards women, so much so that he said a man who inflicts violence on a woman should not be considered a part of our community.

He (ﷺ) also specifically decreed that a man’s responsibility to his wife included treating her equally and refraining from any acts that disparaged or injured her.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“… give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.” 
(Hadith, Abu Dawud)

Honour in Islam is not about reputation or cultural tradition. It is about safeguarding the physical and mental well-being of a woman, and fulfilling the obligation as laid down in Shariah of supporting her in maintaining her dignity and self-respect whenever she is vulnerable to any kind of physical or mental danger.

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Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence of those aged 16 or over. In the majority of cases it is carried out by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer. It is very common. In the vast majority of cases it is experienced by women and is perpetrated by men but anybody can experience domestic abuse regardless of age, gender or sexuality. Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident and it is the interlinked types of abuse that have a particularly damaging effect on the victim.

So-called ‘honour-based’ violence is a crime or incident committed to protect or defend the honour of the family or community. The term can cover a collection of practices used to control behaviour within families or other social groups, in order to protect perceived cultural and religious beliefs or honour. These acts are included within the domestic abuse definition, but may also be carried out by people who are not partners or family members. The ‘domestic’ nature of the offending behaviour is an aggravating factor because of the abuse of trust involved. Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:

  • Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
  • Psychological and/or emotional abuse
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Financial or economic abuse
  • Harassment and stalking

The different types of Domestic Abuse:

Coercive control: Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten the victim. This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.

SOME COMMON EXAMPLES ARE:

  • Isolating you from friends or family
  • Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
  • Monitoring your time, communications or what you do
  • Making threats or intimidating you

Psychological and/or emotional abuse: If your partner’s behaviour makes you feel small, controlled or as if you’re unable to talk about what’s wrong, it’s abusive. If you feel like your partner is stopping you from being able to express yourself, it’s abusive. If you feel you have to change your actions to accommodate your partner’s behaviour, it’s abusive.

SOME COMMON EXAMPLES ARE:

  • Undermining or dismissing your opinion
  • Emotionally blackmailing you and making you feel guilty to manipulate you
  • Telling you what you can and can’t do

Intimidating and threatening you to stop you from standing up for yourself

Physical or Sexual Abuse: This includes the person attacking you physically by slapping, hitting, punching you. It also includes pushing or holding you down. Sexual abuse involves rape, enforced sex or prostitution, pornography, or any sexual behaviour or activity which you find unacceptable (and/or have not consented to).

Financial and Economic Abuse: This involves a person using or misusing money which limits and controls your current and future actions and your freedom of choice. This may leave you without money for basic essentials such as food or clothing or without access to your own bank accounts. Economic abuse is designed to create instability and limit a victim’s access to safety. Lack of access to economic resources can result in women staying with abusive men for longer and experiencing more harm as a result.

SOME COMMON EXAMPLES ARE:

  • Using your credit cards without your permission
  • Gambling with family assets
  • Putting contractual obligations in your name without your permission

Harassment and Stalking: This is a pattern of persistent and unwanted attention which makes you feel scared, anxious or harassed. Alone, some of the behaviours may seem like small acts but together they make up a consistent pattern which can be very frightening and upsetting for victims. Stalking is an important criminal offence.

SOME COMMON EXAMPLES ARE:

  • Regularly giving unwanted gifts
  • Making unwanted communication
  • Damaging property
  • Repeatedly following/spying on you
  • Threats
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If you are worried that somebody you know might be in an abusive relationship, here are some things you can do about it:

  • See Something, Say Something
  • Shame – it is not the victim’s fault!
  • Help for victims
  • Help for perpetrators

If you are the victim of an abusive relationship, you might want to:

  • Find somewhere safe to stay
  • Stay in your home and get whoever it is harming you to leave
  • Report the violence to police
  • Get a court order to stop your abusive partner from harming or threatening you
  • Take legal action
  • Get help from a charity or another organisation
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If you believe someone is in immediate danger, dial 999 and get in touch with the police. West Midlands Police have a dedicated Public Protection Unit with specialist officers who only investigate these types of crimes and their case will be dealt with by passionate and understanding officers, the same also applies to police forces around the country.

 

Below are the details of other organisations that you can turn to for advice, support and help:

National Stalking Helpline Advice line 08088020300
The Homelessness and Housing Advice Service (Newtown Shopping Centre, Newtown) Housing applications / Homeless applications 01213037410
EMCONET Emerging Communities Network (Medley Road, Sparkhill Birmingham) Counselling and advice service for Eastern European 01215555672 or 07907580787
ANAWIM Women’s Services (Balsall Heath, Birmingham) Advice for domestic abuse 01214405296
Roshni Birmingham Asian Women no recourse to public funding 08707070098
Ashram Housing Association (Tyseley, Birmingham) South Asian Women 01217643817
FMU Forced Marriage Advice Repatriate Victims 02070080151
Panahghar West Midlands Asian Women Temporary Housing Advice Line and counselling 02476228952
Bharosa West Midlands Specialist in South Asian Women 01213030368 or 0369 bharosa@birmingham.gov.uk
Karma Nirvana Force Marriage Advice and HBA 08005999247 info@karmanirvana.org.uk
Sanctuary Increase measures of safety at home 01214642683
Women Acting In Today’s Society Refuge focus on black/minority ethnic women 01214401443
Salvation Army Domestic Abuse support including temporary accommodation 01212366554
Birmingham Crisis Centre Accommodation and helpline offering support for domestic abuse – including no recourse to public funding 01215070707
Victim Support / Work closely with Refuge providing Temp Accommodation 24 Hour DV Helpline, Domestic Abuse Outreach, IDVAS, VEV Services 08082000247
Rights of Women Legal Advice Line 02072516577
Gilgal DA Refuge 01217731431
Women’s Aid Birmingham and Solihull IDVAS, 24 Hour DV Helpline, Domestic Abuse Support, Refuge support 08008000028 or 01216858687
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We are grateful to West Midlands Police and the Neighbourhood Strategic Partnership for their support and part-funding of the videos produced for our awareness campaign on community violence.

In particular, thanks go to Inspector Neil Kirkpatrick and Sgt Haroon Chughtai of the Hall Green Constituency, without whose support and encouragement these campaigns would not have got off the ground.

We’d also like to thank our filmmaker Matt Cannon of Planet X Films. Matt heavily subsidised the production of the two video campaigns, on knife crime and domestic abuse, as part of his commitment to social responsibility.

The script was developed by a group of local people who we brought together for this initiative. All the actors are local people who volunteered while others gave up their homes to use as filming locations.

It’s a good example of members of the community coming together to make this happen and produce a very high quality production at minimal cost. We’d also like to thank the following people for their contributions to the campaigns:

Alia Ahmed, Ashfaq Ahmed, Nathanael Ballew, James Barnett, Yasmeen Begum, Saeeda Bi, Shaida Bi, Sophie Broadbent, PC Emad Choudhury, Matt Clewley, Sumayya Fazil, Nicki Ferris, Alice Fish, John Goodliff, Celina Hanif, Daanyaal Iqbal, Mariyha Iqbal, Laura Jerram, Hina Junejo, Isha Khan, Jibrail Khan, Zaboor Mahroof, Tee Morris, Shazia Parveen, Shaida Parveen, Arslaan Ramzan, Abdullah Rehman, Israfiel Sayyad, Kiren Shafiq, Kamran Shezad, Pc Lauren Stopher-Murray, Zain Sultan.

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