Domestic Abuse
And as of His signs, He created mates for you from your souls that you may find rest in them.
And He put between you love and mercy (compassion).
Most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.
(Qur’an 30:21)
Love, mercy and kindness are values that underpin Islam. Domestic violence and domestic abuse go completely against these values and therefore against Islam itself. It is incumbent on a Muslim to embrace these values of universal humanity through their relationships with others, and most particularly with their partners. It’s why domestic abuse has no place in the Muslim community and must be rooted out. In Islam, one cannot perfect their worship of Allah (swt) until they have perfected their relationship with others. The kind treatment of others, including one’s partner, is in itself an act of worship and a sign of piety to God.
Honour in Islam is not about reputation or cultural tradition. It is about safeguarding the physical and mental well-being of a woman, and fulfilling the obligation as laid down in Shariah of supporting her in maintaining her dignity and self-respect whenever she is vulnerable to any kind of physical or mental danger.
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence of those aged 16 or over. In the majority of cases it is carried out by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer. It is very common. In the vast majority of cases it is experienced by women and is perpetrated by men but anybody can experience domestic abuse regardless of age, gender or sexuality. Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident and it is the interlinked types of abuse that have a particularly damaging effect on the victim.
So-called ‘honour-based’ violence is a crime or incident committed to protect or defend the honour of the family or community. The term can cover a collection of practices used to control behaviour within families or other social groups, in order to protect perceived cultural and religious beliefs or honour. These acts are included within the domestic abuse definition, but may also be carried out by people who are not partners or family members. The ‘domestic’ nature of the offending behaviour is an aggravating factor because of the abuse of trust involved. Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
- Psychological and/or emotional abuse
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Financial or economic abuse
- Harassment and stalking
Islam teaches individuals to constantly consider which deeds and behaviours are pleasing to Allah (swt) and to interact with others in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women.”
(Hadith, Tirmidhi)
Our Prophet (ﷺ) hated any form of violence towards women, so much so that he said a man who inflicts violence on a woman should not be considered a part of our community.
He (ﷺ) also specifically decreed that a man’s responsibility to his wife included treating her equally and refraining from any acts that disparaged or injured her.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“… give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.”
(Hadith, Abu Dawud)